


“Do you ever think about death?”

by StudentOfEtherium



Category: Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Angst, Conversations, Crying, F/F, Gay, Hurt/Comfort, Not Beta Read, POV First Person, Pre-Despair (Dangan Ronpa)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-18
Updated: 2020-08-18
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:28:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25976698
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StudentOfEtherium/pseuds/StudentOfEtherium
Summary: Hiyoko opens up to Mahiru.
Relationships: Koizumi Mahiru/Saionji Hiyoko
Kudos: 22





	“Do you ever think about death?”

“Hey Mahiru?” 

“Yeah?” 

“Do you ever think about death?”

I tilted my head slightly to look at her from across the room. We both lay on the tatami mat floor of my bedroom. It was a rather ordinary summer day, the kind where it's too hot to do anything but lay around on the tatami mat floor and talk.

Mahiru didn't respond at first, clearly thinking of a response. Eventually, she said something. “What brings that topic up?” 

“Nothing in particular. It comes to mind often.”

Mahiru made an inquisitive sound, but didn't pry further. “Well… I can't say I do, no. Sometimes, on the rare occasion that my mom talks about her job, it becomes unavoidable, and it comes up in world news or history class…” She trailed off and shrugged. “I guess in short, no, not really.”

I sat up. “It's something I think about often.” She hmm’d and I could hear some sort of unplaceable negative emotion in her voice. Disappointment, or maybe something more apologetic. I shook my head as if to dispel her thoughts. “I'm not suicidal, you don't need to worry about that.”

“I wasn't.”

I continued, “I've told you about my family's history before, right?” She nodded lightly. “A little. Enough that I understand bringing it up in this conversation.” I nodded back. “Yeah.”

She sat up and moved next to me. I glanced down and grabbed her hand.

“I guess I can say it doesn't especially get to me anymore. I kinda had to learn to shrug it off, as a kid.” I looked up at Mahiru next to me and smiled softly. She smiled back.

“Sorry, I shouldn't talk about this.”

“I don't mind. If you want to talk about this, I'll listen. I might not be able to respond well, but I still care.” I stared at her silently for some time, before squeezing her hand. “Thanks.”

I took a deep sigh and continued. “I can't even remember the first time someone tried to kill me. I was young. That might have even been before I entered elementary school. I've lost count of how many times people have tried. Grandmother and I have talked about giving me a guard before, but we both knew people would find a way around that.”

I glanced over at Mahiru. She was still clearly paying attention. I stared into her eyes as I caught my breath. Then, seeing she would offer no commentary, I resumed my monologue.

“I can't see my life lasting any longer than it has. One of the many enemies of my family will kill me. Enough of them are trying that it's inevitable. I-” 

“I don't think so.” Mahiru cut me off. “If you've lived this long, I don't see why their luck would change now. Whatever forces have kept you alive this long can keep you alive longer.” I frowned and untangled my hand from hers. I stood up and walked over to my bed, where I sat down. I leaned against the wall and picked up where I'd left off.

“I don't have a future. I'm going to die. I will die young. If I'm lucky, I'll graduate high school. I don't expect even that much.” I turned and laid down on my side, resting my head on my pillow. Mahiru was still sitting on the ground, eyes peeking up at me over the edge of the bed. We stayed silent for a few more minutes. Eventually, I spoke up, breaking that silence.

“I'm fine with this. I mean, I'm not at all fine with it, but I've accepted it, at least. If I hadn't, I wouldn't have made it this far in the first place. Soon, someone will murder me in cold blood for reasons far outside of my own control. It's been inevitable ever since I was born as a Saionji.”

Mahiru stood up and sat down on the bed. She looked down at me and frowned, before leaning down and grabbing my arms. She pulled me towards her and I limply followed. She held me close and gave me no room to escape. With no chance of freeing myself from her grip, I looked up into her eyes. She grabbed a corner of her shirt and used it to wipe away the tears forming in the corner of my eyes that I hadn’t realized were there.

“Hiyoko, I promise you, this won’t happen. If your last name is the concern, then when we get married, you can take my last name.” She paused for a second, as if thinking through her words. “You can rest assured that I will not let you die, let alone for something as meaningless as the family you happened to be born into.” She held me tighter. I couldn’t find the words to respond, so instead I stayed silent and let her continue. “I understand your position is rough and as much as I can empathize, I can’t ever relate. What you’ve been through is hell and I don’t want to diminish those experiences. But! I’m here for you and I always will be and I won’t let you die.” I hugged her back. “Thanks”

We stayed like that for a while longer. She held me in her arms and I held her back. At some point, I stopped crying and at some point, she wiped away my remaining tears. I felt like we could have stayed there forever if we wanted to. For the first time in my life, I felt safe. Unfortunately, we were soon interrupted by Grandmother knocking on the door and calling us to dinner. Mahiru and I both blushed deeply as we broke the hug. She giggled a little. As I started standing up, I thought back to what she had said to me. 

“Wait, what did you mean by “ _when_ we get married”?

**Author's Note:**

> death is a really interesting topic for me and fiction about characters well aware of their own morality is very much my thing. i've been thinking about that more lately and have a few more ideas for "character talks about death" fics
> 
> this turned out way angstier than i expected because my plan was for Hiyoko to be rather indifferent to what she sees as her inevitable death, but as i wrote it, i realized that didn't really fit, then at some point it accidently turned into hurt/comfort


End file.
